With finals fast approaching, many VWC students are starting to feel the pressures of the semester coming upon them. They are lucky, however, because there are many different resources where they can turn. "Right around the middle of the semester," said Health Services RN Mary Gerriets, "is when we see the most students coming in complaining of depression." It seems as though the beginning of the semester passes them by, but by the middle, they are already so far behind they don’t know how to manage it all. The first step is to acknowledge that they may have a problem and make an effort to solve it, like coming to the Health Services office, where people like Gerriets can help.
The first thing Gerriets says she does when a student comes in is sit and talk to them. "Sometimes," says Gerriets, "it’s convincing them that what they’re going through is normal." If a student needs more personalized attention, he or she may be referred to Bill Brown, or Molly McClurg, on-campus licensed clinical social workers. "We are a really good point," said Brown, "to hook up with." These two offer confidential counseling services for students of all types. It doesn’t matter if a student is going through a major emotional crisis, or just needs a sounding board about a fight with a roommate, these counselors are there to listen. Students may be referred by Health Services or can simply give them a call.
Brown says he gets referrals from all over campus, from professors to resident advisors. Sometimes students don’t really know where to turn for help, so they talk to a trusted teacher or friend who will then refer them to Brown. Their job as counselors is to help decide just how depressed is the student and what is the best course of treatment. Every student is different and has different needs. But the main thing to remember when talking to any counselor is that the individual feels comfortable with them. It’s almost like talking to a friend. Some students feel more comfortable with a counselor of his or her own sex; others like to talk to someone of the opposite sex. Some students may just need a few talk sessions to work out their issues. For others, it may be determined that there is a need for some sort of medication, like Prozac or Zoloft. Although the counselors cannot prescribe medication themselves, they can work with the doctors in Health Services to get the students a prescription.
Both counselors are in Pruden Hall, outside of classrooms, but they will be moving to the new student center when it is finished. "It will offer more confidentiality," said Brown. "We’ll be more off the beaten path." According to Brown, the new offices will be tucked away. He hopes this will encourage more students to come and talk. Health Services also offers referrals for off-campus treatment. They know doctors and treatment centers in the area that can help individualize treatment. Gerriets believes in a strong support system. "Friends," she says, "can be a big help. They can come take you to a movie, or just come over and get you out of bed." College life can sometimes seem overwhelming, but the thing to remember is that there is help available.
It’s 3 AM. Another night without sleep. Why can’t I just pass out? I tell myself I need to sleep. I tell myself I have to get up in the morning, that I have things to do. I toss and turn. My heart races. I feel the tears running down my cheeks. My mind is constantly in motion - thinking about what is wrong with me, thinking about my friends, about home and my family, thinking about what I have to do this week, about whether I’m going to be able to get out of bed in the morning.
It’s like this every night. I haven’t had a good night’s sleep in months. Sometimes when I think about ending it, it’s just because I want to sleep forever. That’s my vision of death. Sleeping forever, without the constant worries about everyone and everything. Sometimes I see myself dead. I look down and laugh at everyone who continues to deal with the crap life throws at us. Pressure. I feel my temples begin to throb. Why can’t I just go to sleep? Why do I have to deal with this day in and day out? Why me?
8:30 a.m. My alarm goes off. Do I want to get out of bed and live my life? Or do I want to stay in bed and try to get that sleep I couldn’t get last night? I ask myself this question every day. Every morning I battle myself Sometimes I just hit power on my alarm clock and roll over, try to get back to sleep. Other times I lay there, thinking about the pros and cons of getting up and living another day. In order for me to get out of bed, I have to convince myself that something good will happen. There definitely needs to be a significant reason for me to get up and start the day. Every day is the same. If I get out of bed in the morning and tell myself that something good will happen, I’m fine for a little while. I go to classes, put on the usual show for my friends, the laughter, the smiles, the chit-chat and then come back to my room and stare at the computer screen, the TV, the ceiling, or my pillow.
If I don’t smile and act happy, I get the third degree. My friends either leave me alone or drill me about what is upsetting me. I tell them nothing or that I don’t know. I say that I’m just having a bad day. I’ll come to you if I need to talk. They talk behind my back. They compare notes to see if I told someone something that I didn’t tell the other. Maybe I’m just paranoid. They have better things to talk about. They don’t need to worry about me. I know they care, but sometimes I don’t want them to care. Sometimes I just want them to leave me alone. Most of the time, I just want to be by myself. I think too much. I think that’s one of my problems. I look into things too deeply, get stressed over things people don’t normally stress about. I get sick. I can’t eat. If I do eat, I get nauseous. I have no motivation and I’m tired all the time. I just want to sit around and do nothing. I want to be by myself, in my room, with the lights out. I just want to lay there on my bed and try to think.
Usually I end up crying. I think about things that are going on in my life, I begin to feel hopeless, and I cry into my pillows until my eyes are red and sore. No one hears me cry. Does anyone know how miserable I am? I guess it doesn’t matter anyway. They can’t help me. I can’t even help myself. I have no idea what’s wrong with me. Why can’t I just be happy like everyone else? Why can’t I be happy like I used to be? If I only knew what was causing me to feel this way ... then I could help myself. I could get help from someone else. I just don’t know anymore. I knew I needed help when I tried to kill myself. I knew that I was so close to ending my life that if I didn’t talk to someone or get help, I wouldn’t be able to get through my problems and continue living.
It was a Tuesday night, and I remember it so clearly. If it hadn’t been for one of my friends, I wouldn’t be here. She stayed with me for most of the night. She wouldn’t let me be by myself. She saved my life. I can’t deal with everything on my own anymore. I’ve kept things bottled up inside of me for years, and I’ve reached my limit. It’s overflowing and I need to talk to someone. I’m going to counseling on campus now. I’m on an antidepressant called Zoloft. So far it seems to be helping. It helps me to relax, not worry about everything, and it even lets me be happy. The other night I was the happiest I’ve been in a long time. I was just laughing and smiling, being crazy with my friends. One of my friends even commented that I seemed like my old self again. She told me she had missed that part of me.
I haven’t cried in a week. Maybe I used up all my tears over the past three months. I still think a lot. I still wonder why I’m depressed and what happened in my life to make me feel this way. I don’t know how to fix everything, but at least I’m trying. The first step is to convince yourself that you need to talk to someone. Then you actually need to go and get the help. For a long time I told myself that I didn’t have time. I would make up any excuse not to go.
But now that I am getting the help, I wish I hadn’t waited so long. I’m still not used to spilling my guts to a stranger, but it’s better than thinking about killing myself every night. I know I have a long way to go before I’m better, but I also know that I can get through this. I’ve learned that sitting alone in my room or thinking about ending my life isn’t going to solve anything. In order for me to get through this, I need to work on it. And I am now at the point where I am willing to do anything to make my life better. I am going to win my battle with depression. In the end I will be a much stronger and happier person.
Everyone feels down in the dumps sometimes. We all have those days where we just don’t want to get out of bed and face the world. Imagine feeling like that every single day. This is what it’s like to be depressed. Depression is a commonly used word. It’s not uncommon to hear someone say they feel depressed. However, they may be misusing the term. According to Board Certified Psychiatrist Dr. Abbot Lee Granoff, "There’s a difference between being unhappy and depression. Many people who say they are depressed are confusing depression with unhappiness." The difference, Granoff explained, is that "unhappiness changes depending on the circumstances. Depression doesn’t change."
Clinical depression affects approximately 12 percent of the population during some point in their lifetime. During any one six month period, six percent of the population is depressed. Depression does not discriminate according to age. It does seem to be slightly more common in women, but "that may be because men are a little bit less likely to report it," Granoff said. He explained that: "most depressions have a genetic predisposition." However, a person could live for years without exhibiting depressive symptoms. Depression tends to come on after "stress makes the brain chemicals flip out of balance," Granoff said. The stress that triggers the reaction can be physical, psychological, emotional, environmental, or any combination thereof.
There are numerous symptoms associated with clinical depression. Some include difficulty sleeping, and an increase or decrease in appetite, diminished concentration and memory, and a lowered self-esteem. If left untreated, depression can lead to suicide. "I would say about 20 percent [of cases] end in suicide if they do not seek treatment," Granoff said. Treatment of depression usually begins with medication. Granoff explained that he prescribes medication after diagnosing the depression because "if there’s an imbalance in brain chemistry, I can’t talk someone out of that." There are 23 anti-depressants currently on the market to help combat depression. Some of the most common are selective serotonin re-uptake inhibitors like Prozac and Paxil. Granoff said that a specific drug will work for the individual patient about 60 percent of the time.
Of course, after prescribing medication, Granoff said he also uses psychotherapy "to help reduce stressors in their (the patients) lives." He emphasized the importance of seeking professional assistance in cases of depression. He believes people who feel they are depressed should consult a psychiatrist like himself. "A psychiatrist is the only medical doctor that specializes in mental health and is the only mental health practitioner who is a medical doctor," he said. He explained that other medical professionals are not capable of dealing with depression as well as psychiatrists are. "Psychologists, social workers, and counselors think they can do as good of a job, but they can’t because they don’t have enough training," Granoff said. Unfortunately, many people do not seek the help they desperately need. About 19 percent of the population have a diagnosable mental illness. Less than one percent of them seek mental health treatment. Granoff explained that approximately 80 percent of the 19 percent are cases of anxiety or depression. "Depressive orders are very common mental illnesses," he said. "They’re very, very treatable, and the downside, if you don’t get them treated, is suicide." The doctor explained, "there’s a stigma about mental illnesses," but said that stigma is unwarranted. "People need to recognize that mental illness isn’t a sign of weakness of character or personality," he said. "Just as something can go wrong with your heart or lungs, something can go wrong with your brain."