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| Photo by Jenn Albrecht Mattel’s Barbie and Ken: together no more. |
After 43 years together, it’s about time for a break. Sadly enough, the All-American plastic pair is on the outs. Just like many Hollywood romances of our time, Barbie and Ken have decided to call it quits. But is there a reason behind dividing the couple after such a long and trying relationship?
According to Mattel’s press release, Russell Arrons, vice president of marketing at Mattel, said, “Barbie and Ken feel it’s time to spend some quality time apart. Like other celebrity couples, their Hollywood romance has come to an end, but they will remain friends.” Although Arrons denied that the reason behind the breakup was the new gal in town “Cali” (also known as California Barbie), it seems hard to believe that this had nothing to do with marketing strategies.
According to Newsday the new Barbie “Cali” will be coming out wearing board shorts, a skimpy bikini top, “rockin” hoop earrings, and a West Coast tan. The new beau in town is a boogie boarder named Blaine who happens to be there just in time to sweep Cali off her feet and into the waves! This little stunt by Mattel is all fun and games to adults, but what do you tell the children who won’t understand the tragic breakup?
Arrons feels that moms and dads should handle it “much like a parent may someday have to explain a divorce” and tell the little girls that Barbie and Ken will always care about each other and remain good friends. Enough about the children involved, there are more important issues to consider when thinking about a breakup of this magnitude! Like who gets what? There are thousands of possessions that Barbie and Ken will now have to split, like the cars, the campers and the Malibu estate. Not to mention working out who gets little sis Kelly on the weekends. When asked what she thought Barbie should “claim,” freshman Sara Northam, said, “She won’t take the house - she will give that to Ken out of pity. Then she’ll get with G.I. Joe. He’s buff and can build her a mansion. Finally, she’ll take the convertible only because Ken won’t look good in a pink car.”
That’s a heck of a settlement. There are many reasons one can think of for the breakup, but one of the more common reasons people think of is that Ken and Barbie finally just grew apart. When junior Jeff Magner was asked why he thought Mattel broke up Barbie and Ken, he said, “Ken just must not do it for her anymore. Barbie’s ready to get crazy.” This is exactly what Mattel is trying to get across with the new, relaxed “Cali” line. Mattel stated in its press release, “Now that Barbie’s single, Mattel is marking the major transition with a whole new carefree and independent look reminiscent of her California roots.” So if the spring weather is making you feel like it’s time to grab a surfboard, ditch the boyfriend and run to the beach, you’re not alone. “Cali” will be hitting the shelves and the waves later this month.
The “Cowgirl’s Guide to Love,” by Ellen “Lil” Patrick presents its reader with “The Cowgirl Code,” which helps women find a deep, meaningful relationship with their chosen beast. This code, however, is not just for cowgirls…it’s for us regular gals, too. Patrick uses examples to explain avoiding the New-Age cowboy, men who seem too good to be true, giving advice for first dates, such as: “Be the first to initiate the termination of the date.” (A Cowgirl always wants to maintain control of the reins.) “Don’t kiss him except in a friendly manner, on the cheek, or with closed mouth on the lips.” (A Cowgirl always wants to maintain control of the reins. Are you getting this yet?)
She presses the importance of having time to just have a night out with the girls, doing stuff like “Get dressed up and go absolutely nowhere” or “Build a fire and throw into it items symbolic of your romantic disappointments.” Patrick also talks about “The Mama Factor,” or the way Mama brought your man up. If she babies them and “cooks and cleans for them even when they are 40 years old,” this man is called a “mama-dependent male.” Some signs that your man is a “mama-dependent male” are that he “has strong likes and dislikes in food and drink (i.e. your basic meat and potatoes man).
Alcoholic beverage of choice: beer,” and he “chews with his mouth open because his mama never had the heart to tell him not to.” There is also, according to Patrick, another category in “The Mama Factor,” called “The Mama- Deprived Male,” or a man whose Mama was absent in his life for one reason or another. Some signs that your Johnnie-Boy is a “mama-deprived male” are that he “is likely to have accomplished, or be striving to accomplish, great things in the world to make up for the fact that his mother neglected him,” and he “has impeccable manners. May be a hand-kisser.”
According to “The Cowgirl Code,” a woman is never to chase a man or beg for anything from her man. “A cowgirl always has lots of other friends and admirers, and plenty to do to keep her busy. She doesn’t waste her time designing on some loser who doesn’t appreciate her.” Patrick says that “the first date should be a magical event, if he is the man for you. When you look back on it, there should be sparkles all around it. You should float home on a cloud, and everyone who looks at you will be able to see the glow.”
On the topic of sex, the book says, “he won’t respect you if you give him sex too soon. And you won’t have any way left to controlling or inducing the behavior you want if you’ve taken away his incentive. And another point is, you can be the sexiest thing on the planet and still not have sex. Sometimes that makes you even sexier.” This book hits the spot, giving guidelines to find love. It presents the reader with dating tips, reasons for why your man is the way he is and ways to hold on to that special someone. This book is truly “The Cowgirl’s Guide to True Love” and I suggest it to every woman out there still in search for her very own John Wayne.
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