V-Day Quiz: How does your heart "rate"?
by Missy Cool and Nicole O'Bleanis

1) What do you expect to receive (gifts, presents, services, etc.) this Valentine’s Day?

a) Flowers, chocolates, dinner, and a nice massage
b) Valentine’s Day cards reminiscent of elementary school and some candy hearts
c) Heart shaped cookies from my mother with "Maybe next year" written in icing
d) Nothing. Why would anyone buy me anything?

2) What are your dinner plans for Valentine’s Day?

a) A romantic candlelight dinner. . . in Paris
b) A romantic candlelight dinner. . . at Waterside
c) A romantic candlelight dinner. . . at the Dining Hall
d) A romantic candlelight dinner with your pet fish, "Rocko"

3) Who do you plan to spend Valentine’s Day with?

a) My husband/wife, my fiance my boyfriend/girlfriend, etc.
b) My "flavor of the month/week"
c) Whoever I can pick up at Winner’s
d) Rocko

4) What are your plans after dinner on Valentine’s Day?

a) Slip in to something more comfortable (men too)
b) Go to see Titanic, go dancing, for a walk on the beach, etc.
c) Watch reruns of "Beavis and Butthead" while eating cheese curls
d ) Stalk my ex-boyfriend orgirlfriend and his/her date

5) What clothing will you wear on Valentine’s Day?

a) My classiest/sexiest ensemble
b) A G-string or teddy
c) My shirt with the heart-shaped punch stain on it
d) All black, as usual

6) If you could compare your love life to ice cream, what kind would it be?

a) A banana split,with all the trimmings
b) Rocky Road
c) Orange sherbet - it tastes good,but it’s not the real thing
d) None- I’m lactose intolerant

7) Of the following, which famous couple does your current relationship reflect?

a) Will Smith and Jada Pinket
b) Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee
c) Kermit and Miss Piggy
d) Roseanne Barr and Tom Arnold

8) What song will be playing on your stereo this Valentine’s Day?

a) "I Will Always Love You" by Whitney Houston
b) "Red Light Special" by TLC
c) "All by Myself" by Celine Dion
d) "Tubthumping (I Get Knocked Down)" by Chumbawumba

9) What video are you most likely to rent on Valentine’s Day?

a) Pretty Woman
b) Striptease or The Full Monty
c) Addicted to Love
d) Natural Born Killers

10) How will you spend the morning after Valentine’s Day?

a) Wake up next to the one I love
b) Wake up next to a total stranger
c) Phoning in a personal ad
d) Choking down aspirin after praying to the porcelain god

Scoring: A = 4 B = 3 C = 2 D = 1

10-20 points

HELLO, Rocko will not live forever, but don’t feel too bad. After all, things can only get better. And besides, your mom does make the best darn cookies in the whole state!

21-30 points

Well, at least you have good friends. Next year, take the initiative. Try getting a little"friendlier" with that certain someone. You can do it! We know you can!

31-40 points

You have got it going on!!! Keep up the good work! Hope it lasts (otherwise see 10-20 point category).