Social Studies: Procrastinator's Paradise
Why the Beach's biggest bookstore is not a place to hit the books
by Chris Williams

“MOMMMMEEEEEE!!!” shrieks an unseen but most definitely heard little boy.

I peek my head around the corner to see what sort of creature could possibly make such a nerve-shattering sound.

“MOMMMMMMEEEEE, I WANT TO SHOW THIS TO YOU!!!”

At any moment I expected the glass windows of the store to explode into a million pieces due to the decibels that this monstrous child was reaching. Looking across the huge Barnes & Noble bookstore, one could see heads popping up to look over the shelves in the direction of the piercing scream.

The child was jumping up and down on one foot while pulling the other foot up behind him in what appeared to be an attempt to touch the back of his head. In his free hand he held a book with a horse on the cover. It was quite an impressive display of balance.

Equally impressive was the restraint I showed against the urge to tip him over onto his butt.

But even more impressive than either of these two feats was the fact that the boy’s mother was the only person in the entire store that was completely ignoring him. The boy’s mother, a small woman in her mid 30’s, seemed completely engrossed in reading the flap of Stephen King’s latest thriller, Bag of Bones. What horrors she expected to find in King’s fiction that she hadn’t already experienced living with this little beast was anyone’s guess.

Much to the relief of the patrons of the Barnes & Noble, the woman decided that she didn’t want the book, and she and her little darling exited the bookstore. When they were gone, the shock and annoyance of the employees and customers in the store turned to laughter and relief as they joked about the disturbance, some making gestures of slapping and punching no doubt in reference to what they would have loved to do to that little boy.

So this was the place that my friend Glen had recommended as “a great place to study”? He said the café had “a nice atmosphere.”

We’ll just see about that.

Glen was right about one thing. It has a nice atmosphere. The café is separate from the bookstore. It is not so separate that you wouldn’t be able to hear some little eight-year-old monster screeching the verbal equivalent to nails being dragged over a chalkboard, but the café does have its own little niche in the store. A three foot tall, green iron fence outlines the perimeter of the café. The floors are hard wood as opposed to the rest of the store which is carpeted. Tables that seat four are set up in the center of the café, with tables for two lining the south and east sides of the café. Facing the west side overlooking a large window is a bar with six stools. The café counter itself is positioned at the north end. I take my seat at the south end of the café, at one of the tables for two.

Groups of young people in their early 20’s sit in the center area of the café. From their book bags, text books, pens and notebooks, one would assume that they are students that are there for the purpose of studying. However, there doesn’t seem to be a whole lot of studying going on. The young men and women laugh and joke around, chatting and drinking coffee. But no one even glances at his or her books or notebooks. Not even once.

I turn my attention to a couple of women who have just entered the café. They take a seat at the table just diagonally from mine. They are both very well dressed. One appears to be in her mid 30’s, the other appears to be in her 50’s. They are perhaps mother and daughter. The younger woman wears a navy blue business suit while the older woman wears a black skirt with a white sweater, and a black silk scarf around her neck. The younger woman has a cherry pastry of some sort and the older woman drinks a hot cup of tea and flips through a copy of Vanity Fair.

They speak a foreign language that sounds like German. The younger woman says something, and they both laugh loudly, making me wish I spoke German.

The laughter dies down while I continue to observe them until. . .oops. The older woman caught me looking. Busted. I hate when that happens. I look away quickly for a moment, but when I look back she is still looking at me and saying something to the younger woman who has her back to me, but turns around and looks at me. I look away again, embarrassed. They laugh again.

Now I really wish I spoke German.

The younger woman in abandons her cherry pastry for the time being, and heads off in the direction of the bookstore. Not wanting to make anymore embarrassing eye contact with the older woman, I turn my attention to a man seated at the bar.
He is casually dressed in a blue t-shirt with the words “BRYAN POWER TOOLS” printed on the back in plain, white block letters. He wears jeans and a dirty, white ball cap. He sits, hunched over the bar drinking a tall, steaming cup of cappuccino or coffee, gazing out the window. A woman walks over to him with a stack of hard cover books. The only one I can make out is the one on top by Patricia Cornwell.

“You’re not getting all those,” he says.

Ignoring his remark, she sits down and kisses him.

“Look at this,” she says, opening a large book. He puts his arm around her and they peruse the book. They look for a few seconds and then laugh. He whispers something to her and she stifles what wanted to be a loud giggle, and whispers something back.

The couple then gets up and walks out of the café, carrying all but one of the books that the woman had originally carried over with her. The one left on the bar is called Cabin Fever.

Just as they leave, another man comes to the bar and sits down in the stool just to the left of where the man was sitting. He has four books, all of which have “Windows NT Workstation 4” in the title. One of the four has the subtitle “Exam Guide.” He puts on his glasses, takes out a notebook, pulls the pen out from behind his ear and appears to be ready for some serious cramming.

Or is he?

He opens the top book, and turns to page one. After staring at the page for few seconds, he flips the book to the back and looks at the back cover.

Back to page one. He stares at page one for a few moments again, and then starts to flip through the first few pages. After a moment of skimming, he flips to the back cover again for only a brief moment.

Coffee. Yeah, that’s what he needs. He puts the book down and then goes to get into line at the counter. Procrastination at its best.

It certainly appears that this is not the most ideal place to study, especially if you’re a procrastinator.

The rest of the tables in the café are filled with the sounds of conversation and laughter. This place was not meant for studying. It was meant for socializing. For enjoying time with friends in a nice atmosphere.

The mural on the wall surrounding the café captures its essence. It is a painting with various well-known, prominent authors. Names like Fitzgerald, Melville, Dickinson, Kipling, and James are just a few that are in the mural. The artist has rendered them in a very social atmosphere, sitting in booths in a café, drinking coffee and wine, talking, laughing, smoking cigarettes. It is much like the atmosphere of the Barnes & Noble Café.

No, this is not the place to come if you want to study. Well, actually that’s not entirely correct. It depends on what you are studying. Calculus? No way. History? Forget about it.

People? You just might find what you’re looking for.