Christmas comes but once a year...why does it have to last so long?

If aliens were to land on earth tomorrow, they’d think that Christmas was right around the corner.

Actually, if aliens were to land on the earth any day, they’d think our calendar year was a long string of never-ending holidays.

Think about it — New Year’s Eve and Day flow right into Valentine’s Day, followed by the ever-popular President’s Day, and, in quick succession, St. Patrick’s Day, Easter, Mother’s Day, Memorial Day, Flag Day, Father’s Day, Independence Day and Labor Day (also known as back-to-school day). The year is rounded out with a straight shot from Halloween through Thanksgiving and then on to the Hanukkah /Christmas/ Kwanza/ Winter Solstice spectacular.

We certainly are a holiday-loving society.

But the worst offender--what must be the longest holiday in the whole world--has to be the Christmas Season.

Years and years ago, Thanks-giving was deemed the start of the holiday season, and the reason was purely monetary. “Let’s encourage those holiday shoppers to storm the malls as a traditional day-after-Thanksgiving ritual, and spend their little hearts out until the very last minute on Christmas Eve.”

Even if it was a devious plot on the part of store owners, it’s always seemed to work. After Thanksgiving, it’s about a month till Christmas — just the right amount of time to get all revved up for the cookies and presents. Besides, Santa arrives in the Macy’s Day Parade on Thanksgiving, and the weather has finally gotten cold enough to start dreaming of a white Christmas. It was the perfect little time table.

But nowadays the minute the Halloween decorations come down, the lights and tinsel go up. It’s two months of “ho-ho-ho,” carols and those annoying Salvation Army bells. It’s never-ending holiday TV specials and dreidel songs and the smell of pine and cinnamon. It’s way more people than the fire code permits in any mall and way too many holiday parties and dinners and gift exchanges.

The truth is, by the time December 25th rolls around, most everyone is sick of Christmas!

Of course, we could discuss the excess commercialization of “religious” holidays such as Hanukkah, Christmas and Kwanza, but that’s a lost cause. Despite the good intentions of many, all these holidays have become as far removed from religion and tradition as a Pauly Shore movie is from true art.

So go play your Backstreet Boys holiday album and chow down on your red and green M&M’s after maxing out your credit cards buying gifts for everyone, including those cousins you’ve never met.

Get plenty of sleep so you can stand in line for days to get that one must-have toy for the season and relax at night while watching the holiday-themed episodes of “Buffy,” “Friends” and “Law and Order.”

Spend all month making all of Martha Stewart’s wreaths of the world and Good Housekeeping’s 20-room gingerbread mansion and your 50-pound turkey with five kinds of stuffing and a table full of side dishes just to show up your mother/sister/grandmother/mother-in-law/sister-in-law or best friend.

But please, we ask only one thing -- don’t start until after Thanksgiving.