Student's struggle with depression is lesson for others
by Katrina Putnam

We’ve all been down in the dumps before. Every person has at some point in their life had to force themselves out of bed in the morning. But what if that became a way of life? What if you discovered that you suffered from a major depressive disorder?

For three years of my life, I struggled with these feelings. It started out simply enough: I became a teenager. For most people, depression is triggered by trauma in their lives. It could be anything from the death of a loved one to moving to a different town or school. After an upset, most people return to normal; someone with depression doesn’t.

That’s what happened to me. I left the comfort of elementary school and started junior high. There, I started a downward spiral that led to major depression. It began with simple things. At first I just needed more sleep than I had before. Eventually, I was fighting to get out of bed. Eventually, the rest of my outlook on life dimmed.

I saw myself as unattractive, stupid, annoying to others. I wrote this off as a self-esteem problem. No big deal, right? Wrong. These feelings escalated until I felt totally worthless. In health class we were told that low self-esteem was something we might experience during puberty. I just figured everyone was going through the same thing.

My self-esteem problem became worse. I had to force myself out of bed every morning. I spent years in what became my private hell. It became so bad that I considered ending my life at least twice. That was when I realized that what I was feeling wasn’t normal.

I began to resent the people around me; they seemed so normal, and I obviously wasn’t. I snapped at people when they talked to me. I lost friends, and even my family didn’t want to be around me. They realized that I was having a problem and decided to get help for me.

Within a week, my parents had made an appointment for me to see our family doctor. After a series of tests and blood work, he couldn’t find anything wrong with me. Physically, I was in perfect health. He recommend I see a psychiatrist.

I hated the idea of seeing a “shrink.” My image was of an old man sitting behind a big desk, asking me questions and writing down everything I said, analyzing my every thought.

My perceptions changed the moment I walked into the doctor’s office. She had a small office without a couch (the one thing I figured I see for sure), only a small bench and chair. After talking to her for half an hour, she diagnosed me with clinical depression. I walked out of her office with a prescription for an antidepressant, a bunch of pamphlets, and an appointment for two weeks later.

I was skeptical that I could be “fixed” so easily. As I read the pamphlets I realized that I wasn’t the only person in the world feeling like this. The symptoms described were exactly what I had been feeling for several years. Most people who suffer from depression experience fatigue, change in sleep and eating habits, irritability, loss of interest in old hobbies. Every person deals with these things occasionally, but when it lasts for longer than two weeks, it is a sign that you might suffer from depression.

Through my reading, I learned that this condition wasn’t as rare as I thought. One in every four women, and one in every 10 men--roughly 9.4 million Americans--can expect to develop depression at some time in their lives. Of these people, 80-90 percent can be effectively treated through medications, psychotherapy, or a combination of the two.

I expected that my first pill would make me feel miraculously better, but such was not the case. The brochures told me that it would be at least two weeks before I felt any difference, so I sat back and waited.

I went in for my second appointment with the doctor and told her that so far things hadn’t improved and I was ready to give up again. She convinced me to stick with it. She told me that things would get better. I wanted to believe her, so I took her advice, continued the medicines, and made another appointment.

Three weeks after I started the antidepressant, I did notice a change. I wasn’t struggling quite as much to get up in the mornings. Life wasn’t as painful anymore. I was able to enjoy my time with other people and I realized there was hope in life. My feelings of worthlessness slowly faded away and now, three years later, I feel like a normal person again. I still get upset occasionally, but I am able to get over it now.

I’m writing all of this in hopes of helping other people. After everything I’ve endured in the last several years, I want to help others who are experiencing the same things. If you think you may suffer from depression, see your doctor immediately.

Depression can be a fatal disease if it isn’t treated. This is a real disease, not just something that is in your head. In many cases, it is caused by an imbalance of neurochemicals. This can easily be corrected with medication. Other times it is triggered by major changes in your life that therapy can help you deal with more effectively. All you have to do is realize you have a problem.

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